“They went out from us, but they did not belong to us; for if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us. However, they went out so that it might be made clear that none of them belongs to us.” (v. 19)

This is one of the sadder realities of relating in the church:

Not everyone is truly with you.

Some will depart—not just your fellowship, but the fundaments of the faith itself. Some will share a season with you, but, when doctrine or politics or divisions come, they’ll choose self over mutual submission. When repentance and purity and holiness—when total adherence to the authoritative Word of God—is asserted, they retreat. They choose some version of religion that requires only what they are willing to give, they elevate their opinions to supremacy, and they criticize the body.

The fact that that happens isn’t what hurts. It’s the biblical revelation that they were never truly with you—never truly in Christ—that hurts.

There aren’t many comforts here. There are, however, callings. You are called to pray for them. You are called to forgive them, even if your grace goes unnoticed. You are called out of hatred and its darkness. And you are called to a continued commitment to truth, in the church, as the church.

My heart breaks for so many who have departed. Really, they are merely returning, for they weren’t ours to begin with. But don’t let heartbreak turn to bitterness—and don’t let it sway you from truth.

— Tyler